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SoupTale: SOUP JOKES
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"For all your April Fool's Day greetings!
Insult me but don't ignore me
Questions of etiquette
Me exaggerate?
Wordplay me this
Where'd you say you were from?
Metaphorically speaking
Smart ass waiters
Politically wise acre
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SoupTales § Please contribute a joke!
Soup Jokes (Click HERE for a full blown rumination on the subject. In fact, I urge you to click here. The rumination is better than what you'll find below. Take it from me.)
1. Insult me but don't ignore me
He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup. (Wilson Mizner)
You ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? (John Mendoza)
He found a great way to eat his wife's soup. He pretends it's mud. (Milton Berle)
I once cut my mouth on my wife's soup. (Milton Berle)
She loves to make soup--especially cream of yesterday. (Milton Berle)
I cast my bread upon the waters tonight. Of course my wife claimed it was soup.
Everything she cooks turns out tough. Can anyone lend me a soup knife?
A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stranded on an island with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, "Let's smash the can open with a rock." The chemist says, "Let's build a fire and heat the can first." The economist says, "Let's assume that we have a can-opener."
2. Questions of etiquette
Two missionaries were captured by a tribe of cannibals who put them in a large pot of boiling water. After a few minutes, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. "What's so funny?" said the other.
The first missionary replied: "I just peed in the soup!" (Thanks to Steve McMullen for the cite.)
Just when do 24-hour cafes start serving the soup of the day? (British "questioning" comedian Steve Riches)
Mummy, mummy, what's a vampire? Shut up and eat your soup before it clots"
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