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brianstorms weblog: June 2004 Archives
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June 30, 2004
All Venture Capital Panels for Startups Are The Same
Some yang to go along with Ventureblog's ying .
I didn't attend Guy Kawasaki's The Art of the Start conference, despite the umpteen email soliciations urging me to attend (just look who's going to be there! Imagine how much you'll learn! Why, you may have already won!). And now, Guy's emailing me with post-conference upsells: I might have missed the conference, but that's no reason to miss the conference! Why, now it's possible to buy 8 recordings for the low, low price of $35.00, that's right, $35.00 gets you eight MP3 files you can download and listen to on your own! Sorry, at this point I have seen and heard enough of these panels and lectures to say with a fair degree of certainty that they are all the same. So in an effort to save you a bunch of time and aggravation, here's a transcription of the eight recordings. I believe that it is essentially a transcription of all past and all future venture capital startup-howto -wannabe panel sessions, so read it and free yourself of the need to ever attend such an event yourself:
"Welcome blah blah blah how to get going from just an idea blah blah blah critical success factors blah blah blah how to jump-start your company blah blah blah blah blah blah pure talent and winning ideas are never enough blah blah blah blah blah blah how deals happen blah blah blah what it takes to get rich like me blah blah blah we actually really don't know any more than you do blah blah blah but we're real good at fooling you blah blah blah I mean, what has Garage Technology Ventures actually done lately blah blah blah what's hot and what's not in 2004 blah blah blah Powerpoint is dead blah blah blah why it's important to make killer Powerpoints blah blah blah blah blah blah if you have to get on an elevator to make a pitch, you're an idiot blah blah blah it has nothi"
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